Gym Intimidation: The Ultimate Guide
Gym Intimidation: The Ultimate Guide
What's one question I get asked about time and time again?
No, not about my favourite Peaky Blinders character, my favourite Kit-Kat flavours in Japan, or why I accidentally ran into a closed door back in school with full force.
It's actually, "Leo, how do I get over my gym intimidation?"
Chances are, you also probably think you're in the minority - but ironically, you're in the majority.
Trust me when I say that many people have the same fears and anxieties as you regarding being scared to go to the gym.
There's no "off/on switch" for gym intimidation, but doing your best to implement some of the following suggestions will help - and this is me speaking from experience.
So hold on tight, pay close attention, and be prepared to take in some tips n tricks to help you understand how to deal with intimidation.
Although before we get into any strategies, I want you to understand one thing;
No one gives a damn about what you're doing in the gym, not a soul.
Not even the guy with muscles bulging from his neck down to his toes lifting the heaviest dumbbells or the lady killing the HIIT workout without seemingly breaking a sweat.
"But Leo, they are judging me, I can tell. That person is always staring at me."
Here are two potential scenarios.
Scenario 1
For the sake of the conversation, let's say that you're right, and they are looking at you.
You cannot let it affect you.
I know it's easier said than done. Still, you cannot use the fear of someone else's opinion to prevent you from reaching your health and fitness goals, transforming yourself for the better, and stopping you from joining a gym for the first time.
Do you let the opinion of others dictate what you do or don't do in your day-to-day life? I hope not.
Plus, anyone else who negatively judges others - has a them issue; it's not a you issue.
I bet my bottom Euro (I'd say Dollar, but I'm in Portugal) that there's something in their life that they're unhappy about, so they try to place that feeling of unhappiness on others as a coping mechanism.
They need to feel superior somehow.
If anything, don't you feel sorry for them?
I want you to promise me that after you've finished reading this “How to deal with gym intimidation article”, you'll no longer let the opinion of others stop you from improving your life.
Scenario 2
They're not actually staring at you, and you're overthinking it, or maybe they were -but because they liked your trainers or tracksuits.
It's interesting how we're always quick to perceive it in a negative light.
Why? Because it's expected that when you're scared to go to the gym, and you're joining a gym for the first time, you feel like everyone is watching and judging your breath in an uncomfortable environment.
But you need to remember that most people's attention spans are way too short for them to give a damn about your entire 45-minute workout - no one is that special.
Most people can only stay focused for a few seconds.
I'm sure that whilst you've been reading this article, you've been tempted (or already have done) to check your WhatsApp, Instagram or Twitter.
That lady you saw killing the HIIT workout? She's too busy iMessaging as she rests.
That super jacked dude you saw lifting the heavy-ass dumbbells? He's too busy telling his training partner that he's gotta leave in no later than 20 minutes because he's got father duties to attend to.
Anyway, now we've got those two scenarios out of the way, here's the main part of the 'How to get over gym intimidation' article with five tactics you can try.
Go in With a Plan
If you go into the gym without a clue as to what you're going to do - you will feel out of control, and the gym intimidation will feel much worse.
Why? Because you'll have no idea how to navigate your time there effectively.
This will make you feel more lost, embarrassed to go to the gym, and more like you're being watched - causing your gymphobia to keep growing.
My recommendation? Get yourself a plan. From somewhere. Anywhere.
Here's a free workout plan that I made that you can use; you can grab your version by clicking here. Sorted.
Having a plan when joining a gym for the first time will make everything feel more straightforward because:
You'll know exactly where you're starting
Where you're finishing
How many sets you'll be doing for each exercise
How many reps you'll be aiming for
What your rest time is in between each set.
The list goes on.
Most importantly, you'll have a focus and a goal.
Pro-tip:
If you don't feel comfortable in the dumbbell area (the 'testosterzone'), implement more machine-based exercises into your plan, e.g. the chest press machine instead of the dumbbell chest press or a leg press instead of a barbell squat.This allows you to still get a workout in without stepping into what may arguably be the most intimidating area, which causes many people to feel embarrassed to go to the gym.
Exposure
Hands down, the most critical section for getting over gymphobia.
Have you heard of exposure therapy? Many studies show it works.
For example, if you are scared of spiders, slowly exposing yourself to them over time is a great way to overcome that fear.
An example of the stages could look like this;
Seeing a spider in a separate room that it can't pass through.
Being in the same room as one whilst it's covered in a cage.
Being in the same room as one whilst it's uncovered in a cage.
Touching one whilst it's uncovered in a cage.
You get the gist.
So one way to get over your gym intimidation is by… going to the gym.
Sounds bloody insane, right?
As long as you keep holding it off and never going, the feeling of gym intimidation will only grow.
Because the feeling of gym intimidation isn't magically vanishing one day.
But slowly expose yourself to the environment consistently over time, and you can bet that the feeling starts to ease.
How quickly will it happen? I can't guarantee any period, but the important thing is that as long as you're going and the feeling is easing - you're winning.
Although what I can guarantee is that never going because you're embarrassed to go to the gym or worried about what others will think once you're there is only a short-term solution for now, but it will only make your life more difficult long-term.
Some stages to gradually expose yourself to a gym environment could be;
If you're joining a gym for the first time, sign up and get the membership. Have a complimentary tour whilst you're there.
Attending a class could allow you to meet a few people and make you feel more comfortable.
Have your first workout or two entirely based on the area you feel most comfortable in, e.g. cardio equipment, resistance machines etc.
Work out with a friend using as much gym equipment as you please.
Hire a trainer to help you, whether with Kairos Online or a 1-2-1 personal trainer. Having someone guide you throughout your workout plans can be game-changing because you don't have any guesswork.
There's no fixed order or method for gymphobia. Still, the important thing is you go to the gym and get something done.
Trust me, you'll be so damn proud of yourself, as will I.
Pro-tip:
Having a kick-ass playlist downloaded on Spotify for you to listen to during your workout could also give you a heightened feeling of confidence if you're scared to go to the gym.Some albums and playlists in my earlier days got me going.
Learn the Exercises Beforehand
So now you have your workout plan, you'll need to learn how to perform the exercises too.
Fail to prepare, and you can prepare to fail! If you want to know how to deal with intimidation, then you'd do well to learn the exercises in advance; this will help prevent:
Standing around feeling lost and unsure, quickly watching 5-minute YouTube videos at 2x speed because you decided to postpone learning the exercise to the last minute.
Copying the next guy you saw doing it - not realising he had terrible form, and now so do you. An injury waiting to happen.
How to avoid outcomes for both A and B?
Take 15 minutes out before the workout some time and educate yourself. It'll be a skill you have for life.
It's also why I've set up an entire exercise library exclusively for every Kairos Online member, so they never have to feel like that.
Get Outside Support
Another great tip when it comes to knowing how to deal with intimidation.
What do I mean by this exactly? Here are a few suggestions;
Join a Facebook group
Join a community
Hire a personal trainer (most gyms will offer a free taster session with a PT)
When making progress, these can be game changers because you'll no longer feel alone.
The benefit of hiring a professional trainer or starting with Kairos Online is that the element of guesswork is removed. You can rely on their skills and experience to guide you, reducing that feeling of gym intimidation.
The issue with sometimes sharing how you feel with friends is that you can't help but feel like you'll be judged. Whereas being with like-minded communities filled with people on similar missions can feel more comforting, leaving you more empowered.
Go at Roughly the Same Times and Days
If possible, of course - but something to consider when joining a gym for the first time.
Because what going at roughly the same times and days does is allow you to grow familiar with the same gym crowd.
More familiarity likely equals more comfort in an environment.
You may soon realise that the super ripped dude from earlier may seem intimidating on the outside, but he is actually super friendly and routinely says hello whenever he sees you.
Alternatively, if it's a crowd that doesn't say much - that's okay too. Getting used to most of their faces could still be a big game-changer for your feelings. You may even start to notice a few other newbies, too, because trust me when I say many people who attend your gym feel the same way you do.
You don't notice them because you're so fixated on your gymphobia and all the people who look like they live there.
There Comes a Time When You Just Have to Go
Before finishing, there's one more thing that's important to mention.
I can give you all the tips and tactics in the world, but they will only work if you turn around and apply them.
Hard love? Maybe.
But nothing will change the fact that you’ve got to push yourself to be uncomfortable.
Yes, I understand you're scared to go to the gym and don't like it, but part of life consists of doing things you don't like - especially when it's good for you. Forever avoiding things you find uncomfortable means you will not grow.
Taking that step towards joining a gym for the first time, and then actually going, will be the most powerful thing you can do after you finish reading this.
Bonus Section
Here's what a few current Kairos Online members have to say about gym intimidation and how to deal with intimidation…
Rebecca, who owns a lovely podenco (dog breed) and is from Essex, England, says:
"A good tip when joining a gym for the first time is to tour your new gym before you start any sessions. Work out where everything is and have an induction, maybe just so you can walk in that first day and boss it confidently!"
Avid dancer Julia, located in Milton Keynes, England, says:
"Educate yourself on how to use the machines. This could be by watching a video on YouTube and after trying it with a lighter weight to ensure you do it correctly."
Olga from Belgrade, Serbia, who recently started her third month with Kairos Online, says:
"If you're scared of the gym, then ask the trainer in the gym to show you around on your first day, allowing you to go over any questions you may have so you feel more relaxed and less worried."
So, there you have it, a bunch of tips ‘n tricks you could implement so you no longer have to feel scared to go to the gym.
If I could leave you with one thing, I want you to remember that it's okay to struggle.
I get it; sometimes, it's easy to beat yourself up for feeling like you do. But realise you feeling uncomfortable means that you're pushing yourself to be better.
If you never feel uncomfortable, you'll never grow.
Gradually feeling more comfortable at the gym is a skill and habit that'll take time to learn. Quitting at week or month one just because you felt scared of the gym or didn't like the environment is you not even giving yourself a chance.
Do you think that everyone you see in the gym has never struggled at some point?
That they just always knew everything?
Perhaps they're still struggling now.
Yes, acknowledge how you feel - but never let that feeling hold you back from bettering yourself again.
I'm proud of you for finishing this, which already tells me you're progressing.
Speak soon,
Leo
P.S. If you enjoyed reading this article and feel like it could help someone else you know who has gym intimidation or is considering joining a gym for the first time, then please share it with them :)
